The Lion King (1994)

The first five minutes.  This movie is worth 10 stars simply for the first five minutes.  Disney's masterpiece The Lion King is a marvel of movie making, and perhaps the best animated film ever.  But it is the first five minutes that simply stun and amaze every time I see it.  In those first moments we are introduced to a beautiful and wondrous setting, we march with the smallest ants and largest elephants, we fly with the birds, and we begin to understand characters, even without a word spoken.  There is awe and grandeur, a great song, and a bit of mystery hinted at.  Everything is perfectly timed, perfectly planed, and perfectly directed.  And, technically speaking, Disney animation does quite a few things that had never been done before.

And that's just talking about the first five minutes.

Speaking about plot, The Lion King is basically Hamlet.  With lions.  And that is another reason this movie succeeds.  You see, a movie needs a reason to be animated.  There is no reason to animate a film unless you are going to do things with the animation that you could never do with live actors.  This is where The Lion King shines.  It takes a basic story that is rich in history and pedigree, and infuses a beautiful new life into it by transporting it into the world of lions in Africa.  It also remains one of the classic examples of the plot device known as "the hero's journey."

The animation itself is brilliant.  It is colorful, full of life and beauty, and infused with African themes and style.  It communicates wonderfully through use of light and darkness and color.  Bad guys are pictured as drab, while the good guys almost shine.  Evil areas are dark and foreboding, and good areas are colorful and healthy.

The music is fantastic.  The Lion King was made in an era when Disney was expected to have 4-5 standout showstopping songs in each movie.  Now, it is never a good thing when studio execs dictate to a writer or director what they MUST include in the film.  Songs that are shoehorned in never work well and end up harming the movie over all.  The Lion King does not suffer from this.  It rises above expectations, with no song seeming to overly forced, and every song seems a resounding spectacle of grand magnitude.

The acting is passable.  Of course, Matthew Broderick should never be given acting jobs, unless the job is to portray someone who is MEANT to be more wooden than Pinocchio.  Everyone else does a great job, and seems to have genuine fun.  Especially Jeremy Irons, who provides the voice of Scar.

Overall, The Lion King is beyond good.  It has the kind of plot, pacing, and themes that transcend the simplistic offerings typically given by Hollywood today.  This is far more than what we expect from a "kid's movie."  This is a family movie in the best sense; one that can be enjoyed by all and that will remain relevant and fun for years to come.

Especially those first five minutes.

Entertainment: 9/10
Artistic Value: 7/10
Technical merit: 10/10 (in spite of Broderick)

Overall: 9/10

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

So there are some movies that reveal just how odd my sense of humor is.  Spinal Tap (more appropriately, This Is Spinal Tap) is one of those films.

For example:

"These go to eleven."  That is, after all, one louder.

If you're laughing, it means you've seen Tap and your idea of funny is as twisted as mine.  If you're not laughing, then you've not seen Tap or, alternatively, you don't know funny.  Either way, correct the issue.

This Is Spinal Tap is the story of a British heavy metal band on a comeback tour in America.  It is told in documentary style, leading many viewers to believe there actually WAS a band called Spinal Tap.  Which of course there was not.  But if there were it'd be awesome.

The movie plays that role of faux documentary perfectly.  The acting is just right; the actors flirt with the line that separates over-the-top from ridiculous, and yet there is constantly this thought in your head that there are many in the music industry who are probably just like this.  This is all about the perfectly delivered line: deadpan, with the actor appearing actually to believe that what he is saying is profound.  When it is, of course, abysmally stupid.

Quite importantly, the music is wonderful.  It is written and performed to perfection.  Many of the songs seem good enough that you could honestly believe they could be a smash hit.  The music is in the style of 80's metal, and are perfectly done in staging and sound.  And yet, even though the lyrics fit the genre, they are just past the line into absurd.  Thus we achieve comedic gold; what we hear sounds like true and well-done heavy metal, but the lyrics reveal everything to be both homage and parody at the same time.  I mean, how else can you explain the existence of a song called Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight?

But of course, the shining part of Tap is the writing.  This is the eminently quotable movie, each line delivered perfectly, perfectly timed, and amazingly brilliant.
"I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really.  It's like a Mach piece."
"In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people...the Druids.  No one knows who they were or what they were doing..."
"I think the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf!"
"You can't really dust for vomit."
"It's like, how much more black could this be?  And the answer is none.  None more black."
"These go to eleven."

So get out there and rock with Spinal Tap!  Just be sure the glowing cocoon thing opens.  And that they don't put the puppet show on the marque over Tap.

Entertainment: 8/10
Artistic Value: 5/10
Technical Merit: 6/10

Overall: 6/10  (or should it go to 11?)

Content advisory: These guys frequently have potty mouths.  Just so you know.